Ways to Deal with Aggressive Behaviour in Children
25-01-2017 | Posted By: Admin | 6128 View(s)
Anger is a normal emotion, yet it is one of the most disturbing emotions to handle. Every one of us gets angry sometimes due to various reasons. And the same goes for Children! Although Anger is a healthy emotion as many times, it tells children that life is not fair and right, and they can’t be stubborn always for what they want. But, you must see how your child reacts in anger because that is crucial. Your child may be angry at you for not getting his favourite snack or not allowing him to play or watch his favourite cartoon. This anger itself is not good or bad, but how your child deals with it can be either constructive or destructive. And at this point, if you yell at your child or scold him for being angry, that will make things worse. Hence, you must know some effective ways to Deal with the Aggressive Behaviour in Children.
Although being angry is normal, but if your child does not vent out his/her anger in a proper manner, it could be very dangerous for them and you as well. Thus, you must help your child to cope with emotions and learn to solve problems.
Best Ways to Manage Aggressive Behaviour in Children
1. Explore the Anger Triggers:
Before reacting to your child’s anger, you must make yourself calm and relaxed first. When your child is showing Aggressive Behaviour, and you snap right back at them, it will add fuel to the fire. So, when they are angry, let it be for a while. When they calm down, talk it out and calmly ask them the reason for their anger. If they don’t want to talk to you at that time, ask them to share the reason with their pet/ puppet or anything/anybody they feel closer to. This will make them feel that you genuinely want to help them. Also, observe your child’s behaviour closely. Try to find out the early warning signs of your child’s anger and when you see those signs, remind your child that their anger must be coming up. Once you know what triggers their anger, you will be in a better position to control it. Some of the signs of Anger are Clenched fists, Tight/ Tensed Body, Verbal Outbursts, Hitting Out or a particular Facial Expression.
2. Don’t make any Judgments:
Children also go through a lot of mixed emotions in a day, and so it is natural that they can be angry sometimes. As a parent, you must not scold or judge your child for being angry as it is a natural thing. You must make them realise that they are not the problem, but their anger is. And together as a team, you must help your child to deal with their anger. You can use some creative ways to deal with their anger such as asking them to draw what they are feeling, watch their favourite movie with them, read stories that can make them calm. Thus, instead of being angry at them for their aggressive behaviour, make them busy in things they like to do which will divert them from anger and will relax their mind.
3. Be Empathetic towards Your Child:
When your child is angry, you must think objectively and not take his behaviour personally. It is obvious that your child’s anger will put you in an uncomfortable state, but you must not unleash your anger right back at your child as this will make things worse. When your child is angry, don’t immediately start snapping at them. Try to look the situation from their viewpoint and then you will understand what caused their anger. When you look things from their point, you will be easily able to draw a solution to control their anger, because you know best what calms your child.
4. Be available Emotionally:
When your child is angry and is throwing verbal tantrums at you or throwing things at walls, it not only means that he is venting out his anger but also that he needs your attention. Kids love to get attention, and while being angry, they will display any behaviour that will catch their parents’ attention. Thus, whenever your child is showing Aggressive Behaviour, be with them not just physically but also emotionally. It is not essential that you verbally communicate with them to show that you genuinely care for them. You can just sit with them or make their favourite dish to calm their mind. When your child gets your affection and care, it will help them to relax his mind and control anger.
5. Practice Positive Reinforcement and Praise your Child:
This is one of the best ways to manage Aggressive Behaviour in Children. Whenever your child makes an effort to control their anger, praise them. This will make them realise that they are not alone in this battle and boost their confidence and morale in fighting anger issues. You can also reward them when they control their anger. Make sure that you don’t always reward them in the form of gifts as it will spoil them more. The reward can be- Reading out their favourite book, watching their favourite cartoon or movie together, Playing their favourite game with them and so on.
Parenting Tips by Dr Anupam Sibal
6. Set a Good Example for your Children:
Children learn most of the behaviours from their parents. They imitate you, and that is why you must set a good example before your children. If you show anger in front of them, they will learn the same, and then it would be very hard to control them. Thus, when you are angry, try some relaxation techniques and practise good coping skills so that by seeing them your child can learn the same techniques for controlling anger. This is one of the most valuable tips to control Aggressive Behaviour in Children.
Anger is a healthy emotion, but if not displayed in a right manner, it can lead to frustration, which can, later on, develop into some serious Health Concerns like Passive Aggressive Behaviour, Depression, etc. As a parent, you must not take your child’s anger in a light manner, thinking- ‘They are just Kids’. Follow the guidelines mentioned above to deal with Aggressive Behaviour in Children.
If you are concerned that your child is becoming Highly Aggressive and managing their Anger is beyond your control, do not hesitate in visiting a Doctor or a Psychologist.
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