How to Ease Separation Pain
29-10-2015 | Posted By: Admin | 1376 View(s)
Remaining separated from parents or caregivers can be a traumatic experience for most children when they join their playgroups or their schools. It can be a very difficult phase for parents and their wards and can be overcome with patience and continuous effort. This anxiety can begin as early as the first birthday of the child and last till four to five years of age. However, it is perfectly normal to worry a little bit while leaving parents. You will need to be firm but tender while making the child understand.
Do’s for parents:
Separation anxiety can be observed amongst both boys and girls equally. A lot of children are affected by it, and it can be seen among children of 7-11 years mostly. Parents can start dealing with the problem using the following methods:
Sense the child’s feelings but be patient.
Tackle the problem through playful mode.
Maintain discipline and a routine that involves a goodbye ritual.
Set a limit to be close to the child so that the youngster realises when it is time for you to leave.
Tackle aggressive attitude like hitting and biting with patience.
Maintain good habits of regular eating, going to the toilet, and sleeping.
Teaching the child to share food and toys is very important.
Behaving in a well-mannered way in public.
Teach the child not to create chaos in front of everyone.
Abiding by these rules should give you an idea of how to begin the process of separating the child for short hours without facing many tantrums.
Online assistance and books on Separation:
Curious parents can seek the help of books on parenting as well as the doctors for best methods of handling the issue sensitively yet tactfully. Online classrooms on parenting and handling separation issues are also available for helping parents. All these classes will teach some of the common techniques that are tried and tested and have yielded positive results for ages.
Interactions and initiations:
The children should be tackled in a soft voice through detailed interactions so that it can touch the children’s emotional feelings. Moving a child on emotional grounds is easy but run them through the full schedule regarding when you will leave and be back as well. While playing, teach and assure them that their mammas will be soon with them after finishing the work. But it is equally important to listen to the child’s fears fully and offer relief. Getting their confidence is very important. Close interactions with the children make it easier to convince them how to maintain themselves being away from their parents.
The separation and the trial sessions should be initiated by the parents preferably through a goodbye ritual. But it should not linger for a long time. A child may feel the parents are only pretending to leave and are not serious about it. Introduce the caregiver to the child and assure when you will be back for example during dinner or before bedtime.
School and Home:
If the child is left at home with siblings, then it is important to teach the child how to share and not create a tantrum when the parents are out for work. You may even have to tempt the child with interesting things at home so that the separation anxiety is less. Tactful handling is necessary to maintain peace at home. Again, the child may suffer from anxiety while being away from parents at school and create problems with friends. The fear has to be controlled with new ideas and incentives till the time they understand that this is a short goodbye.
Play a game before leaving:
Sometimes it helps to play with a child before leaving to soothe the anxiety. But caution should be exercised before the child with all the toys because children often have the habit of putting things in their mouth for comfort. The child needs to be repeatedly reminded not to do such things. Playing hide and seek is a good way of leaving the child in a playful and happy mood. The methods of handling will change as the child grows up a little more. You can then give examples of other children whose parents also leave for work and return quickly to make them feel they are not alone. However, it is best never to scold or speak harshly to the children in these situations because it may aggravate the make the child sad and insecure.
Surviving separation from parents is important for making children emotionally strong and is an essential survival skill.
